The End of My Sabbatical

"The real voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes but in having new eyes."

I just realised there is this post I wrote some time in June but did not publish due to my obsession with wanting to perfect it (usually over and over again before i hit the 'publish'button) and in the middle of it all, forgot all about it. So here's it:

One more week and I will take on a new status – I will go be going back to having a full-time job.

I am not entirely sure if I am ready for it. On careful observation of the underlying reasons, I realised it is not because I have not done most of what I set out to do (afterall, I did complete 80 percent of my to-do list - something I am very proud of!). The most important reason is that I felt I have not spent enough time with myself, narcissistic as it sounds. The time spent alone is something I cherish so much, as it seems to get harder and harder as one gets older, due to various social commitments. Most of all, I was disappointed that I had not managed to repeat the feat 10 years ago of not stepping out of my house for 2 whole weeks. I had wanted so much to do that (even if it was just for one week).

But it also occurred to me that even if I do take another 1 full year off, that will not satisfy me as I will never have enough of time spent with myself. Since that is the case, I will just have to tell myself to be grateful for whatever I had this far.

That said, it has been an extremely fruitful half year  of Sabbatical. I must say also it is not entirely a Sabbatical as I did freelance work starting from January. Not that I am complaining as my freelance work exposed me to worlds beyond which I would have not had if I did not do it.  I come to feel deeply privileged to be able to enter the lives of my students and their families, of whom I learnt a lot from. Most of all, my dabbling lands me with the full-time job that I am taking on now.

It has been an eventful 6 months. Like the quote above that I chanced upon when I was browsing in a shop at Clementi Mall, I realised I was so blessed to have encountered new landscape (with my travels and overseas volunteering stint) as well as having donned a new pair of eyes at home. I visited new places, revisit familiar people, reconnected with old friends, and am very lucky to be able to re-understand them  with a different pair of lenses. There were good experiences, as well as not-so-good experiences, all of which allowed me to understand myself and how I function better.

The half year Sabbatical also reinforces that there really is nothing absolute in life. What I resolutely thought I will do, I turned out not doing. What I resolutely thought I won’t do, I took it on eventually (though with lots of trepidations and apprehensions).

Life, really, is interesting.