As mentioned in my earlier posting, I picked up the ukulele on my own this holiday.
I want to stress the words in italics, because like what the Bodhi Master once said, we all must learn to be impressed by ourselves. And I am really impressed by how I am able to do it at all.
Which concurs with what Ladia told me during my apprenticeship when I broke Permaculture Perak's only umbrella on the third day of my apprenticeship while trying to use it as a crutch to climb up the stairs to my tent as my knees was hurting badly. "If you think you need it, you will need it," said Ladia with a shrug of his shoulder.
The narrative I have always spun for myself is often this: I am a slow learner, I need to learn things the explicit way, hence I NEED a teacher to teach me ukulele, I CANNOT learn it via youtube videos, the way many of my friends can.
And indeed if I think I cannot do it, I cannot do it. It is as simple as that.
This holiday, armed with loads of time at home as I am not travelling since Chit is getting married, I decided that I do have time to waste, if I chose to. And after being inspired by a Filipino athlete from the Asean Para Games, who, among many of his achievements, included picking up guitar on his own, I decided I want to prove myself otherwise.
Spending at least an hour each day strumming the ukulele alongside my youtube teacher, friendly elderly "Ukulele Mike", these are the lessons I distilled the past 1 week:
1) That with discipline, many things are possible.
I failed to realise at the outset of my picking up the ukulele, that my strongest gift of having iron-will discipline will set me in good stead in this path of learning the ukulele on my own. It was only when my colleague Susan shared about her experience of learning the ukulele that I realise I don't have much to worry about as I have plenty of that to boot. Thank you, mama and papa for giving me this wonderful gift!
2) I actually enjoy the art of experimenting, groping around and discovering
3) With a "I have lots of time to spare!" mentality, many things are possible!
I have always known the advantages of experimenting, exploring and discovering are wonderful in honing creativity, learning and above all in living a full life. Yet I score a big-time low in all 3 departments, especially in areas I am weak in or new to. I am someone who cannot stand having to walk down aisles in supermarket to locate a product and would always approach a retail staff to ask for the specific location where the product is placed so that I do not need to waste precious time in locating it. I also cannot stand exploring technological stuff to see how to work something out and will always seek the counsel of the most able person around me.
I watched a CNA documentary "Business Warrior" a few days ago which featured a 27-year old Singaporean girl Denise Lim -- a mountain climber, yoga instructor and now a restaurateur in Guatemala who is on her way to starting a second business. Figuring out that it costs very little to start a business there, she said the only thing she will lose is time.
Perhaps I have this show to thank for the lightbulb moment that came to me yesterday. The reason why I always feel I am not adept in experimenting and exploring is that I always feel I DON'T have enough time, as one does really need to spend loads of time when unravelling something totally new, mysterious and scary.
I wrote an entry about my anxiety about time some time back. But it only occurs to me that this constant thread of anxiety that runs at the back of my mind could actually hamper me so much.
Which means if I start to think to myself "I have plenty of time to spare!", I may lead myself down to a path of discoveries of many things about myself and the world I know not of.
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