Memories

I thought I would write about a topic which I have been wanting to for a long time, especially after I have just watched a movie ('You are the apple of my eye') yesterday, which served to remind me how rich memories can make of one's life.

 I googled to find out more about the director Giddens Ko (aka jiu ba dao, or nine knives).

He is a first-time director whose film is based on his true life story, and I found him to be one who seemed very passionate about life and is very much a child at heart (not surprisingly), but who is at the same time very serious about his work (am always very respectful of such people). But what impresses me more is the amount of details he could remember of his reckless and childish past, such as the scene of the male lead's shirt with lots of blue ink smudges on the right side of the back of his shirt (a result of the female lead's inclination to poke her pen at the male lead's back whenever she found him slacking in class) and more amazingly the subtle, poignant feelings he captured, which must mean he remembered it so clearly and vividly up till now.

Which brings me to one central theme that never fails to strike a cord in my heart whenever I watch a movie (or read a book) based on one's life where such rich details are provided. It's almost as if the past happened only yesterday for them. It fascinates and amazes me how this is possible, as I know I would definitely not be capable of this, as I have an extremely bad memory. And that scares me at times, as wouldn't that mean I would grow old with hardly any memories?

I have always suspected I suffered from childhood amnesia as I hardly remember anything in my childhood. And it's not as if I have a horrible childhood and am trying to block out the bad memories. In fact, I had a wonderful childhood (that I am pretty sure of even with a bad memory), with a wonderful set of steady and down-to-earth parents and pretty much submerged in my well-loved books most of the time. I always felt that my memories started only from my junior college days (probably because my life was a bit more varied and exciting then), but even then, they still remained as hazy memories, of which I sort of remembered the general mood and some details here and there. That frightens me often, because what is a person if she has no memories?

That's the main reason why I decided to start this blog, and why I embarked on a cleaning-up movement in my room (which I ambitiously plan to extend eventually to my entire house) where I have been busy organising how I can put together and store objects and paraphernallia of events from my past (be it happy or sad) so that in 50 years time,I am still able to look back and remember the (quite quite) interesting life I have this far.

And who knows, all these efforts may help me if I ever do publish a book, or produce a movie in future :P